I have seen people raise their brows when served monggos (mung beans) as a sweet porridge instead of the savory dish they are used to. “You’ve never had this before?” I would ask, incredulous at the fact that they have been missing out on one of the best things in life. “Oh, you’re in for a treat; you’ll see.”
So it’s not the most visually appealing thing. What do you expect to get when you boil beans, rice (pilit, the glutinous variety) and palm flour jelly balls (landang), other than a brown, watery mush? It does not even taste like anything at that point — except maybe boiled cardboard, if you can imagine that. Spoon in some sugar, though, and damn if that doesn’t make that mushy, chewy, sticky lot sing! It’s what people mean when they say the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Some do not share my enthusiasm. Others politely disagree. That’s all right, really; means more for me. What I don’t get are the ones who find this incarnation of mung beans absurd, even heretical. Take this friend of mine, a true-blue bisdak of the Cebuano variety. He dug into his porridge and promptly spat it back out.
FRIEND: This is mung bean!
ME: Yeah. What, you allergic or something?
FRIEND: No, but it’s sweet!
ME: Egads, you’re diabetic? At your age?
FRIEND: No, I’m not diab— I’m telling you: it’s sweet!
ME: So?
FRIEND: What do you mean, “So?” It shouldn’t be sweet!
— and with that he reached for the soy sauce dispenser and… I don’t remember much of what followed. Witnesses said the victim and his companion grappled over something, then proceeded to out-stare each other; that at some point the victim’s forehead expanded, veins pulsating all over, until his skull exploded. (“Like a melon at target practice,” was how one witness put it.) Freaked the bejesus out of everybody.
The police questioned me, too. Of course. I could have sworn they didn’t, but the transcript doesn’t lie.
POLICE: Tell me about your argument.
ME: We weren’t arguing.
POLICE: No?
ME: We were both upset, was all.
POLICE: So you attacked him?
ME: No! I mean, yes. But it wasn’t like that.
POLICE: Hmmm?
ME: The soy sauce — he wouldn’t give me the soy sauce. Just gave me this stare and I stared back. And then his forehead started to swell… Seen that movie, what was it — Scanners? That kind of shit.
POLICE: Huh?
ME: Now that was one creepy movie. It’s about this breed of people who —
POLICE: What’s with the soy sauce?
ME: The what? Oh, that. He was trying to put some into his porridge.
POLICE: Mung bean porridge with soy sauce?
ME: Uh-hnh.
POLICE: Now that blows my mind — pardon the expression. What was that idiot thinking?
ME: Exactly. He was my friend. I thought I knew him well…
Terrible it was. Had me off mung beans for a while. Today I take comfort in the knowledge that from a purely statistical standpoint that regrettable episode was nothing more than a fluke — and I’m not just talking about the exploding cranium part. Lots more people happen to like mung bean porridge than hate it. I don’t have the numbers right now, but it’s true. How can it not be? The alternative is way too frightening to contemplate. Like, how many people have to lose their heads before the rest realize the error of their ways? That would be truly tragic. It’s only legumes and sugar, right? How hard is it to wrap your mind around that?
Sweet Mung Bean Porridge
Curiously enough, for all my professed love for this snack I have never attempted to make it myself. For my edification and yours, I asked the cook to show me. Enjoy it with biscuits (I prefer galletas) or puto maya (sticky rice with ginger and coconut cream).
- 5 cups mung beans
- 1 cup glutinous rice
- ½ cup palm flour jelly balls
- sugar, to taste
- Immerse beans in a bowl of water. Remove the bits that float. Drain.
- Place in pot and top with an inch of water. Boil until just tender.
- Rinse rice and add to pot. Add some hot water if the mixture looks too dry.
- When rice has cooked, add (rinsed) jelly balls. Add more hot water if necessary. Let simmer until jelly balls are chewy-tender.
- Add enough sugar to slightly sweeten the mix. Serve hot with a bowl of sugar on the side for those who like theirs extra-sweet.
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