Who dares eats (well)

Where I live, it is impossible to find decent crusty bread. One or two bakeries make baguettes — French bread, they’re called. The French would be insulted, tough and desiccated those things are. If you need bread to go with pasta or make sandwiches, the only other alternative is spongy American bread. Most people have no problem with that. I don’t. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not really that big a deal.

Except, of course, when it is. You know what I mean: every once in a while you get a mad urge to eat something very, very particular — like your mother’s sinigang, or Selecta Coffee Crumble ice cream — and nothing else will do. It won’t kill you not to have that craving satisfied, but still. You’re a creature of the moment, and if your mother is in an obliging mood, or the store has your flavor in stock, well, good for you.

Of late, my heart had been set on grilled cheese sandwich: the kind that you could really bite into, with a crispy crust giving way to a crunchy, chewy crumb before melted cheese flooded your mouth. Okay, so make that fixated: I wanted it bad. So bad, in fact, that I finally decided to make my own bread.

The first thing that came to mind was ciabatta, the rustic Italian bread. Don’t snort. I knew what I was up against. The folks at wiseGEEK did not mince words when they counseled that it was “a poor choice of bread for amateurs” and “only experienced bakers should attempt it, with the aid of a good bread book.” Such spoilsports, that bunch, although I had to admit I had never baked bread before, much less owned a bread book, good or no.

That hadn’t fazed me, obviously. Still doesn’t, although if I had realized earlier how long it would take to actually make bread then I would have seriously reconsidered my sandwich-mania, but by the time I came to accept the baker’s truth that longer is better (time-wise, I mean), I was in for the long haul. It took me four attempts to concede the point, using a different recipe each time, with each succeeding recipe proving more time-consuming than the last — but at least the yield kept getting better and better, too. By the fourth go I actually came up with something I could offer to people without inviting derision. The wiseGEEKs drew first blood, I grant you that, but when I overheard my father recommending the latest attempt to my mother as “pretty good,” I knew all those hours I traded for surfing the Net had been worth it.

I could stop at this point — the bread really could pass for decent — except there is nothing like minor success to drive one to try harder, aim a wee bit higher. I don’t flatter myself, in any case. Right now my ciabatta looks a little too rustic, and by that I mean it lacks visual appeal: the crust too pale, lumpy and thick. Then there’s the crumb, which is not “open” enough — a hole-y, airy crumb being a distinguishing attribute of good ciabatta. I need to work on making those holes larger — larger than the plot holes in Tayong Dalawa, if possible. Suggestions include steaming, longer rise times, less kneading, higher hydration levels… Who would’ve thought making bread could be such a pain in the bum?

For the moment, however, I’m in sandwich heaven. It’s hard to complain between bites of toasty, crispy bread loaded with mushrooms and sweet caramelized onions swimming in melted gruyère cheese. Like my mother used to say when I put on airs about the food on the table, “Kids in Africa are eating coal and you’re complaining?” Bitaw. But for the grace of God and Google I would be eating sandwich with soggy pan Americano. Pretty good, my ass. Everyone should be so lucky.

Looking to try it yourself? This recipe worked for me. Don’t be discouraged that the first step alone takes six hours; most of that is rest time, and it is absolutely crucial. I don’t even count that as part of prep time. Way too easy. But skip that and your bread’s toast — pun fully intended. There is no shortcut to ciabatta, save for… well, save for having someone else do it. Come to think of it, that’s a neat idea. The cook will not be amused, but at least she won’t have to deal with Facebook withdrawal. Now there’s a real bitch…