“Where’s the stove?”
“What stove?”
“‘What stove?’ How am I supposed to cook without a stove?”
“We use the rice cooker.”
“But I’m making fried rice!”
Welcome to condo living, where the goal is to make the most of limited space. Using a rice cooker as frying pan fits nicely into the lifestyle. It even sounds fun in a MacGyver-esque sort of way (although I would not recommend it as a long-term solution). All that’s needed is a piece of cardboard or any thick paper folded or rolled up to the size of a roach (not the insect) and use that to jam the depressible switch to keep the device from automatically turning itself off (do not bother if yours has a push-button or something resembling a light switch — you would need duct tape for that).*
Speaking of which, it occurs to me you may not know who MacGyver is. Boy I feel old. He’s, like, sooo ’80s. MacGyver was the TV secret agent played by Richard Dean Anderson. His tool of choice was the Swiss Army knife, with which he fashioned all sorts of survival devices from common household items — almost always with duct tape (wherever MacG was, there was always duct tape, see). Wikipedia thoughtfully points out that in one episode, he patched up a radiator with an egg (presumably he ran out of tape). Imagine what he could have done with a rice cooker.
Ah, the rice cooker… How did we ever manage without it? I’m certain I would make a mess if I were to cook rice using a plain pot today. Let’s see: I dimly recall you had to stir it at some point, and… well, it’s a bit of a hassle, to be honest. The rice cooker was a great equalizer, making it possible for anyone to cook perfect rice. Of course, once everyone had mastered that skill it ceased to be anything special. In the olden days a mother would proudly tell her friends, “Oh, I never have that problem — not with my little angel, I don’t. By the time I get home that pot would be steaming! I swear, one day he’d make some girl very happy.” I hear mothers still do that (some things never change), but try telling people these days that you can cook rice and you’d be laughed out of the room.
Not that it takes any more skill to make fried rice. Fried rice is what you want it to be: simple or extravagant, toasty or mushy, pale or dark or colorful — hey, anything goes. More often than not, it comes down to the ingredients you have on hand. As long as you have the required minimum — rice, oil, and salt — you are good to go. But why stop there? If you ask me, making fried rice is a great way to clear your pantry and/or fridge of all kinds of stuff. So make the most of it. Jazz it up. Be creative. It’s only fried rice. When in doubt, ask yourself: What would MacGyver do? (Even action heroes have to eat, no?) Although if the answer has anything to do with duct tape it’s probably not a good idea. Otherwise, go crazy.
Vegetarian Fried Rice
Try this Thai-inspired dish. Basil lends it a wonderful citrusy aroma (and cuts into the greasiness of the dish besides). Omit egg if you are serious about the vegetarian tag.
- 3 cups cooked rice (preferably day-old, but cold will do)
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- red finger chili, finely chopped
- red and green bell pepper, diced
- 2 teaspoons fish sauce
- ¼ teaspoon salt
- pinch of sugar
- handful of basil leaves, torn
- 3-4 cucumber slices
- 3-4 tomato slices
- chopped spring onion greens, to garnish
- egg, poached or fried
- Using your hands, crumble rice to remove clumps. Prepare the rest of the ingredients as noted.
- Into hot oil, add minced garlic. Stir for about 15 seconds or until they start to brown — do not burn. Then add the diced peppers and chopped chili and stir for another 10 seconds.
- Add rice to the pan. Toss well so that each grain is coated with oil. Keep stirring for a minute or two.
- Season with fish sauce, salt, and sugar. Stir for another minute, then taste. Add more fish sauce and salt as needed.
- Stir in basil until leaves are just wilted. Garnish with spring onion and top with egg. Serve alongside sliced cucumber and tomato.
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