Homecoming

My brother-in-law makes a face, the kind expressive of mock disgust in both our cultures. He’s American and he can’t square the evidence of his taste buds with the sight of me happily digging into a bowl of paliya.

After a week eating mostly pork, bitter melon has never tasted so good. To say that my sister’s husband loves pork is like saying that Kris Aquino is annoying: you get the idea, but you have to be there to experience the extent of it. Three days in, I am sick just thinking about preparing the stuff, let alone eating it. “You flatter me,” I tell BIL, “but you don’t have to force yourself to eat it all. Really.”

“Nonononono,” he insists. “It’s all good.” Frankly, I am not prepared for this level of appreciation. Nothing is ever that good for my parents. Or me, for that matter. It’s in our nature to nitpick. The lechon kawali is undersalted and not too crispy. BIL: “Wow, you gotta show me how to do this!” He means it, too. Sister catches him stealing glances at the chunks left on the serving plate. “Holy crap,” she says. “You’re still hungry? Go for it.” He does not need to be told twice.

“Isn’t he adorable?” Ma says. Yes, he is. There is no faking that kind of enthusiasm. Like mine for the ampalaya. “I don’t think he’ll go for that,” my father had observed earlier. So I paired it with beef (lots of it) and black beans. My brother-in-law’s a sport, but Pa was right. I figure as much when I take an eager mouthful and that once gleeful countenance curls up into a parody of revulsion. Welcome home, bro. You’ve come a long way from South Carolina.

Beef & Ampalaya with Black Beans

I had originally meant to make a different dish of the beef and marinated it in a manner not usual for this particular recipe. But it turned out well so I’m sharing it here as is. When making the sauce, always make a point of tasting it so you can make necessary adjustments before adding it to the pan; doing so as it cooks may result in overcooked ampalaya.

• 1 large ampalaya, sliced ¼-inch thick
• 200 grams beef tenderloin, sliced into thin strips

For the marinade:
• 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
• 1 teaspoon fish sauce
• pinch of sugar
• ½ teaspoon dried chili flakes
• 1 teaspoon oil

For the sauce:
• ½ cup water
• 2 tablespoons oyster sauce
• 1 teaspoon soy sauce
• ½ teaspoon sugar
• ½ teaspoon cornstarch
• 2 tablespoons salted black beans, drained


• 1 medium onion, sliced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 finger chilies, sliced thinly on the bias
• ¼ cup water
• salt and pepper, to taste

1. Soak ampalaya slices in iced water for at least 10 minutes, then drain well and set aside.
2. Combine balsamic vinegar, fish sauce, sugar, dried chili flakes, and oil. Pour over beef and mix well. Allow to marinate in the refrigerator for at least 15 minutes.
3. In another bowl, combine water, oyster sauce, soy sauce, sugar, and cornstarch. Adjust to your taste, then add black beans. Set aside.
4. Heat two tablespoons of oil in a pan over high heat. Add the beef and stir-fry until browned. Remove meat from pan and set aside.
5. Add another two tablespoons of oil to the pan and sauté onions until translucent. Add garlic and finger chilies and stir around until fragrant. Add sliced ampalaya, give it a few quick stirs, then add water. Cover, lower heat a bit, and let simmer until vegetable is half-cooked — about 3 to 5 minutes.
6. Uncover the pan and pour in the sauce mixture. Keep stirring gently until sauce thickens. Add beef back to the pan and mix it in. Season to taste and serve.