Savoring irony

Don’t tell on me now, but all this week my father’s been complaining about the food being sweet. “Did you put sugar in this?” he asks about the stir-fried noodles.

“Of course not!” I say, falsely indignant. Now I’m convinced he only uses his iPad to look up cars and the occasional YouTube video, because if he’d been following this blog he would know my current infatuation with sweet soy sauce, In a manner of speaking, I have not been lacing the dishes with sugar. Not as such, anyway. If he only rephrased his query, e.g., “What was it you put in the food to make it sweet?”, then I would have had no choice but own up to the kecap manis. Sometimes it’s not enough to ask — you have to ask the right question, too.

Honestly, I’m worried. Not too long ago, I was berating my friend Eva that her sweets were too sweet. “For heaven’s sake,” I told her, “do something about your diabetes. You’re too good a cook to die so soon.” Then I turned out to be pre-diabetic, and now I’m having a full-blown affair with kecap manis, not to mention developing an itch for cakes, crinkles, sweet Filipino bread (pan de leche, anyone?), and in my nether regions. I ought to see Doc Alex again; it’s been months.

In the meantime, I give you this dish. Oh, I’m not going to pretend it won’t taste just as good with oyster sauce, especially if you don’t fancy noodles on the sweet side. If you’re diabetic, you will probably hate me for it, even as you lap it all up. There it is, and here we are. Bring on the metformin.

Sweet & Spicy Stir-Fried Noodles

As you may have guessed already, this is basically pancit Canton, although the mode of preparation differs slightly. If you have flat rice noodles, try that to give the dish a different visual and textural appeal. Feel free to substitute the vegetables with those of your choice (green beans, snap pea, broccoli, jicama, young corn, and oyster mushroom come to mind).

• 250 grams Canton (egg noodles)
• 250 grams chicken breast fillet, cubed


• 3 cloves garlic, sliced thinly
• 2 medium red onions, sliced
• ½ green bell pepper, sliced into strips
• ½ red bell pepper, sliced into strips
• 2 finger chilies, sliced thinly


• ½ cup button mushrooms, quartered
• ½ cup carrot batons
• ½ cup chayote batons
• ⅓ cup mung bean sprouts
• 1 cup sliced savoy cabbage


• chicken stock
• 2 tablespoons kecap manis
• 1 tablespoon fish sauce
• salt and white pepper, to taste
• chopped spring onion greens, to garnish

1. In a large pot, boil chicken stock. Add carrots. After 3 to 5 minutes, add chayote. Cook until vegetables are short of tender, then remove from pot (do not drain stock) and set aside.
2. Let stock boil anew. Add noodles and cook until al dente, then remove from pot and set aside. If any stock remains, set aside as well.
3. Heat oil in a wok. Add mushrooms and sauté for 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in onion and cook for another 2 minutes. Add garlic, chilies, and bell peppers and sauté for another minute, then add chicken and stir-fry for 3 minutes more.
4. Add kecap manis, fish sauce, 2-3 tablespoons of the stock you have set aside (or water, if none), noodles, and bean sprouts. Mix until noodles are evenly coated with the sauce, then mix in cabbage and cook for another minute. Season to taste, garnish with spring onion, and serve.