Val Warner made me do it

Oh my God — I take it back. Remember what I said about the honey-soy chicken being the best I had made with Indonesian sweet soy sauce in it? Well, that was before I tried these chili crabs. I was tuned in to Valentine Warner’s Wild Canada when I heard him mention kecap manis. I looked up (I wasn’t really watching), and sure enough he was pouring that stuff over stir-fried crabs!

I was intrigued. Since my gout started acting up again, I had been avoiding the crab vendor. “Uric,” I would say to her as I passed by. She was so happy to be doing business with me again that she offered to throw her firstborn into the bargain. “Don’t get too worked up,” I said, “this recipe may yet turn out to be a dud.”

You think? Really — you think? I might have missed the better part of the recipe, but I had made chili crabs before, if not entirely to my satisfaction. This time, I didn’t even add salt and pepper to the dish (the truth is, I was too excited I forgot) — just tomato ketchup and kecap manis with sriracha and chicken stock. The sauce certainly looked tasty to me.

But then, out of the blue: inspiration (also known as being OC). Remember the bone marrow butter from last time? I decided to put in some. And what do you know: together with the other condiments and spices, it made for a dang good (if messy) sauce that I could not help sucking off every last inch of shell! This was definitely not the usual chili crab served at restaurants: sweetish, yes, but literally and figuratively darker, with the extra richness of bone marrow. Chef Warner would have approved.

Alas, I had made a deal with the devil. Now I’m back to minding the pain in my lower back and bypassing the crab vendor. She and I are both unhappy about this resurgent kink in our relationship. The crabs don’t care a whit. Meanwhile, Val Warner scours the Canadian wild for his next meal. I wish him luck and fun, but he should stick to dousing his food with hollandaise. Safer for me.

Valentine Warner’s Chili Crab

To prepare crab, refer to this video. Make sure to save the creamy/gelatinous “butter” inside the top shell (along with the juice/water) to add extra flavor to the dish. If you don’t have bone marrow butter, plain salted will do. Serve with rice — lots of it.

• 2 kilos crab, cleaned
• 3 tablespoons lard (or any cooking oil)
• 2 tablespoons bone marrow butter


• 1 medium yellow onion, minced
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1½″ knob ginger, minced
• 4 red finger chilies, minced

For the sauce:
• crab ”butter”
• 3 tablespoons tomato ketchup
• 2 tablespoons kecap manis
• ½ teaspoon sriracha (or any hot sauce)
• ¼ cup chicken stock (room temp)
• 1 teaspoon cornstarch
• juice of 1 kalamansi


• salt and black pepper, to taste
• chopped spring onion greens, to garnish

1. In a small bowl, combine sauce ingredients (except kalamansi juice) until no lumps remain. Set aside.
2. In a large wok/skillet, heat oil over medium heat, then add ginger. Sauté for a minute. Add yellow onion and sauté until slices turn translucent. Stir in garlic, chili, and crab pieces (along with crab “butter;” see note above), making sure to coat each piece in oil. Cover pan.
3. Check/stir occasionally, until crabs have turned red (around 5 minutes; you may need to add a few tablespoons of water before this to keep the spices from burning). Remove cover and pour sauce mixture over crabs. Stir to coat crabs with sauce, then let simmer until sauce thickens before adding kalamansi juice. Turn off heat. Season to taste (if needed), ladle into a serving dish, and garnish with spring onion.